Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
