I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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