If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
