at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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