haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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