im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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