just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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