I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize