i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
