My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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