Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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