So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
