And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
