i just had sex bonerless
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
