So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
