maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize