In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You work out of a Hotel?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
