Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
