I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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