Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize