She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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