I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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