I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
