We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
