this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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