He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize