my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
