So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
