remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
