Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
