just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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