So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
