theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
