well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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