it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
