That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
