he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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