he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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