There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
