'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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