Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
