Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
