We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
