I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
