it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
