Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
