4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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