so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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