Whod you bang
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
