Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
