i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
