Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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