Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up under a house in Key West
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