Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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