make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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