she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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