I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
