when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
