Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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