Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
