so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I could fuck to npr.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my liver is dry heaving
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
