I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
