I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
