i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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