I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
