i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i think my cat just said my name.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
