she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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