and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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