IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
