I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
