i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
